The Platinum Rule
by playswithworms
Summary: Protectobot Beginnings AU - Wheeljack asks Groove and Streetwise to stand on one foot, and in return they keep him on his toes.


Disclaimer: I don't own them.

"Wheeljack, I'm not sure I understand," Groove said in his slow, laid-back way, balancing easily on one foot while Wheeljack checked his stabilizers and equilibrium sensors. Streetwise sat on the berth nearby, waiting for his turn. Because Groove and Streetwise would one day make up the right and left legs, respectively, of their gestalt's combined form, they had been designed with specialized balancing nano-mechanisms that were integrated directly into their struts. Wheeljack was quite pleased with the way the mechanisms were functioning, although if anything they were working a little _too_ well. The engineer shook his head a little as he remembered finding both Groove and Streetwise 40 spans up in the air, gleefully clambering along the rafters of the training arena. He'd only turned his back on them for a nanoklik!

"What don't you understand?" Wheeljack asked, pushing Groove's shoulder a little to see if he would lose his balance. Groove giggled and stabilized himself easily.

"The third tenet of Primus is to treat other mechs as we ourselves would wish to be treated, right?"

Wheeljack nodded as he reset his scanner.

"But…I've been thinking."

"You? Thinking?" Wheeljack said in mock surprise. One corner of Groove's mouth quirked up in response. "Other leg please."

"We've all been thinking about it," Streetwise said, voice sounding somewhat odd as he was standing on his helm. On the berth. Wheeljack shook his head with a little chuckle as Streetwise gave him an upside down grin. "Groove started it, though."

"We were all thinking," Groove nodded agreement as he switched to stand on his other leg, "what if the other mech doesn't _want_ to be treated like we ourselves?"

Wheeljack stopped scanning and flickered his optics, running that through his processor a few times.

"It's like, I like it when you try to tip me over, but if I did that to Grapple, I don't think _he_ would like it at all."

"And _I_ like when Hot Spot splashes in the puddles and gets us all wet," Streetwise chimed in, still upside down, "but Ironhide doesn't. He sputters and goes to dry off right away."

"Shouldn't we treat other mechs the way _they_ want to be treated, Wheeljack?" Groove extended his free leg in front of him as he spoke, relaxed and unhurried, and then crossed it over his other knee. "Everyone's a little different."

"Huh, I never though of it that way." Wheeljack chuckled, scratching his helm. "How do you come up with these things?" It had certainly never crossed his mind to question any of the tenets of Primus when _he_ was a youngling, but he had learned never to be surprised at what came out of the vocalizers of sparklings. Now that he thought about it, Slingshot had questioned this particular tenet too, although it had been more along the lines of "Air Raid was being an aft-head; he deserved it. I'm not an aft-head so the third tenet doesn't apply."

"I think…" Wheeljack began, processor working rapidly, "I think that's what the tenet actually means, it's just…"

"Ambiguously worded?" Streetwise suggested.

"Exactly!" Wheeljack nodded, flashing his vocal indicators. "Treat other mechs as you yourself would wish to be treated, if you had the processor and programming of that other mech. Within reason," Wheeljack added, laughing, thinking of Perceptor. Perceptor would love to have them all listening attentively as he lectured on everything from mass ratio reconfiguration theory to the mating habits of Akalouthan crystal lifeforms, but then they'd never get anything else done.

Wheeljack pushed Groove again, trying to catch him off guard. To his surprise Groove didn't try to resist at all, merely leaning sideways with the push and holding the new position, the tranquil expression on his faceplates never wavering.

"That makes sense I guess," Streetwise said, as he let his legs lower to the edge of the berth and then flipped himself neatly to the ground. Groove gave a tilted nod of agreement.

"Ok, kiddo, you pass," Wheeljack laughed, patting Groove on the shoulder. "You can stand up now."

"He's functioning within acceptable parameters?" Streetwise asked brightly.

"Functioning well above acceptable parameters, I'd say," Wheeljack answered. "Now let's see how you do. One foot please."

Streetwise hopped a few times in place, just for fun, landing on one foot and holding with the final hop.

"Show off," Wheeljack chuckled, resetting his scanner. Streetwise stood still, or still by Streetwise-standards at any rate, wiggling the foot of his free leg back and forth as Wheeljack performed the same tests he had done with Groove. Groove sprawled comfortably on the berth nearby to watch, resting his chinplates on his hands. Thank goodness they hadn't asked about tenet number five, Wheeljack thought to himself, the one about not deactivating other sentient mechanisms. He had no idea how he was going to answer that one, but at the rate they were going he'd better start thinking about it now.

"Wheeljack, I've been thinking," Streetwise said after a few moments of silence.

"Uh oh," Wheeljack said. Streetwise giggled. "Go ahead," he added resignedly.

"So when we deactivate, and rejoin the Matrix," Streetwise asked, blue optics glowing earnestly, "does that mean we all go live in Optimus Prime's chest?"


End file.
